Today we want to share with you the life story of a brave woman, who reminds us the importance of living our processes and learning from them. She is Maritza Pino, who from Panama brings her light to the Healing Presents community.
Imagine, one of these moments in life that one says, where is the hidden camera, hahaha, it must be a joke, they made a mistake with the results, this can’t be true, there I understood the bewilderment with all its letters, emotions and feelings.
This is the kind of surprises that you don’t want and don’t expect either. Let me tell you the story, in January 2019 I went to my routine exam with my gynecologist, by personal discipline I visit him twice a year, I can tell you that at that time there were no signs of anything, except that there was a small pimple in the armpit and in the breast ultrasound, everything looked normal.
Days went by and my mother started to insist, go to the doctor, get checked, everything related to the breasts you have to pay attention to. I went for another appointment in March and my doctor, who I have known since I was 23 years old, in the middle of the breast exam, changes his face to a very serious and thoughtful one, and he tells me there is something here that was not there before, he checks and checks and is more and more serious. Since I am an inquisitive person, I begin to question him and he explains what he is seeing and looks for the file to compare what was there before and what he was seeing now.
The next step, a specialist radiologist for a biopsy, and with this word I became alert, but calm, I was not yet ready to size up what was happening.
From that moment on, the roller coaster effect begins, that “feeling of going up in alertness, with your heart racing, a laugh that escapes you, being up and then down with everything, a super liberating scream, you go up, down again and again. Then you come down with an incredible feeling of I’m back to normal, pure adrenaline!
Wow, I never realized how much time is worth, I tell you about it and I bristle from reliving it.
They do the biopsy, it doesn’t really hurt, it only hurts a little bit the manipulation, when it’s over you go on with your normal activities. I’ll be honest, I disconnected completely, until they called me to get the results, that day at 2:45 p.m. I had them in my hands, I read them and did not understand anything, I searched on Google and it was even worse.
What I did know is that my heart was completely beating as fast as possible, I almost couldn’t breathe and I didn’t know why, so, as I’m an active person, I used my breathing tools, tapping and essential oils to calm me down.
I called my doctor and he gave me an appointment for that same day and at 7:45 p.m. it was a watershed in my life.
When I received the news, my brain get blocked, to be clear of what I was hearing I asked the uncomfortable question “Is this breast cancer? and the answer was more uncomfortable “yes darling, it is”. I started to feel a lot of emotions, the nerves made me sick to my stomach, I felt nauseous, I felt like I needed to go to the bathroom hahaha, I sweated hot and cold, in seconds all this happened, what a madness. I asked for a moment to go to the bathroom to be with me in privacy and recover myself from these news.
When I return, between the bathroom and the office door there are 5 to 10 steps and I stop, look up and tell my divinity “there is nothing you do that will make me mad at you, show me the path and guide me, I am ready.”
My doctor who is an angel, tells me “darling, come tomorrow with your family and take these pills to calm you down”. The only thing I managed to tell him was “I want to live and go through this whole process consciously, this has a purpose, I must understand it, I have non-invasive tools and they are not toxic”.
From here came exams, surgeries, treatments, symptoms and many sentimental and emotional stages of shock, pain, frustration, anger, shame, sadness, joy and many more, all of which I will tell you in different writings.
Every day is a lesson, I learn to know myself, my body, my feelings, emotions and above all to genuinely LOVE MYSELF. Today I can tell you that I have discovered and I am living a new blessing. Yes, just as you read it, it is a blessing and I am grateful for it.
I decided to change my consciousness and “REMOVE THE DEATH OF CANCER”, what is behind it is a life story. A diagnosis is not a prognosis, every day we are alive, healthy and well.
@maritzapinog
